06 June 2008

Nasir vs Famous Firm: Nasir 1 --- Firm 0

Famous Firm and Kobe fans and recent bandwagon jumpers: You have a problem. Last night, the Celtics took game 1 of this year's finals and amazingly I was supposed to have a conference call with Sickamore and Phella of the Famous Firm AS SOON AS THE GAME ENDED. I was in a state of shock though when I didn't receive a call and no Firm representative would field my phone calls. I said to myself, "Self, what's going on?" Then the ugly truth dawned on me. The Firm is avoiding Nasir Aleem, the Lakers arch nemesis. *Insert dastardly laugh* In a shocking revelation brought on by truth serum via text message and threats of exposing Phella's obsession with tube socks, I found out the Firm demised a game plan to avoid me the instant the INJURED Paul Pierce made 2 critical 3 pointers. *Insert another dastardly laugh followed by cliche i told you so comment*
Here is another problem for the fakers, I mean Lakers. KG has been in the league too damn long to not have a ring. This year he isn't having it. With the squad that is around him, the ring isn't possible, it's damn near guaranteed, unless Kobe morphs back into Mr. I can't Miss a shot and destroys the Celtics. Firm boys: Houston, we have a problem. Don't worry, upon the Celtics winning the championship, I will support you guys in hiding overseas in one of those third world countries, ashamed of your savior and his cast of players. Sick: Don't worry, I will still lead the Firm to marketing and advertising success. Phella: I think they have a Polo Ralph Lauren store somewhere next to a bunker, hut, or any mud/clay made building, so you can continue on your quest to have the most Polo shirts in the history of the label. Also, don't start copping pleas and calling in ringers, because I'm a one man army and will end your career like LL did Canibus.

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Jetsetter. I defy Time Zones.